Head of Secondary School

It’s been an extraordinarily eventful couple of weeks in the Secondary School as we move to the conclusion of Semester One. Athletics Carnival, Musical extravaganzas, Drama Performances, Student-led Conferences, Foundation Day… the list goes on! A few key highlights, reminders and an article on supporting young people is offered below for your information and interest.

Athletic Carnival Overall House Winners

Congratulations to Cowper!

Cowper – 1639 points
McDouall – 1498 points
Dumolo – 1490 points
Roseby – 1408 points

Analytical Bootcamp for Yr 8 and 9

The Dean of Studies (7-10) will be offering bespoke Analytical Writing Bootcamps for students in Years 8 and 9 commencing in Week 2 of Term 3. Each Bootcamp will be 4 weeks in duration and will run on Monday afternoons from 3:30 pm until 4:15 pm. Afternoon tea will be provided for participants.

These Bootcamps will cater for students who need to develop or deepen their skills in annotation, topic sentences, elaboration, integration of evidence and effective analysis of language devices. Year 11 student volunteers will provide support via peer mentoring.

Please have a conversation with your child about the benefits of them attending one of the 4-week Bootcamps. The individual student can then sign up via the link that is on their pastoral page or by clicking here. Spaces are strictly limited – signup is requested by Friday 23 June. As part of our mission to develop student self-management and independence, only students may sign up via their school email. Parents cannot sign up on behalf of their child. If you would like to discuss this further, please reach out to Anna Marie Rolon, Dean of Studies (7-10) via email at arolon@redlands.nsw.edu.au.

Using Waters Road to Drop Off?

Please role model safe driving practices by adhering to the parking signs and the road rules. Sadly, some of our local residents are reporting that there is an increase of Redlands parents parking illegally and doing u-turns in the street near the traffic lights. We appreciate you working with us to prioritise the safety of all of our students and members of the local community.

Together, Our Job is to Have the Hard Conversations

At School, we often have challenging and important conversations with students and families. We always appreciate the support and understanding of parents and carers with whom we work in the development of the young people in our care. Recently, we have been talking with students about the risks of sending ‘nudes’ and the other broader topic of ‘consent’. Many people do not recognise the broad nature of ’consent’ and its inextricable link to the mobile phone. People tend to conflate ‘consent’ with asking someone before engaging in sexual relations, but consent goes much further than this. Consent is knowing that:

We do not take photos or videos of someone without first seeking their permission
Even if we have their permission, we then do not post these images or videos to social media, without once again, seeking consent for this also

For a variety of reasons, most of which are related to personal safety and security, young people need us to engage in regular conversations with them about the complex area of consent and the use of the mobile phone to request, send and share images, especially if these are intimate images. or ‘nudes’.

Modelling appropriate actions via our use of the mobile phone is a good first step, but as adults, we need to go further. We must also sit and talk with our young people and do this often! Why? If they see that we are willing to talk about it, they know a) it is important and b) we are open to them approaching us if they find themselves in a tricky situation.

The article below from the esafety commissioner is a must read for all parents and carers of young people. Thank you for engaging with this information and supporting the educators at Redlands.

Sending Nudes and Sexting

esafety commisioner

Young people are often better at managing relationships and protecting themselves online if you give them support and guidance.

It’s important to talk with them about sending nudes and sexting, to help them stay safe.

When young people talk about ‘sending nudes’, it usually means sharing intimate photos or videos of themselves with someone else using an online message or chat function, or a phone text service. ‘Sexting’ means sending a sexual message or text, with or without a photo or video. Sending nudes and sexting are becoming common among young people and adults.

When someone shares (or threatens to share) the intimate image or video without the consent of the person shown in it this is ‘image-based abuse’. The content can be shared with others via text or online. This can be traumatic for the person shown, so it’s important that young people feel comfortable about reaching out for support so they can get the images taken down and find any other help they need.

How to Talk with your Child About Sending Nudes

Research shows that 45% of young people aged 14 to 17 have seen sexual images online. But banning your child from using the internet is not practical – these days it’s important for healthy social interaction. Instead, you can help prepare your child by having open conversations about their online experiences from an early age, before they’re teenagers. That way, they’re more likely to come to you for advice if they see anything that makes them uncomfortable or upset.

It’s also a good idea to talk about consent from an early age. We know that although it’s uncommon, children as young as 9 have shared nude images online – this may be due to not understanding the risks or being pressured by an older child or adult.

Children are more likely to make safe choices when adults have early protective conversations. You can start without mentioning sex or the topic of sending nudes. For example, ask your child for permission to take their photo or to post a photo of them on your social media. Then as they develop, you can talk with them about consent in various online situations.

If your child is already a teenager, talking about consent first is still a good way to start a conversation about sending nudes.

Here are some suggestions for how to have the discussion about sending nudes – you can choose what you think is right for your child and family.

Match your approach to your child’s level of maturity, age, and the type of relationship you share with them. You might take the opportunity for a chat while you’re doing something together, like a long walk or a car trip. Sitting side by side, rather than looking at each other, can help make it less awkward!

Open the conversation with a real-life story from the media or your child’s school or community (or you could use a story from eSafety’s resources). Ask questions like ‘Do you think it was right for them to share that photo after they broke up?’ or ‘Do you think it was right for them to post that video online of their friend having sex?’ Follow up by asking ‘Why?’, ‘Why not?’ or ‘Tell me more’ to help you understand more about what they’re thinking.

Explore what their friends think about sharing nudes. Ask your child what they think might happen if one of their friend’s nudes went viral and how they would get help.

Talk about mutual respect and trust. Explore why these behaviours are important to maintain healthy and respectful relationships. Explain that if someone is pressuring them to send an intimate image, that can be a sign that something isn’t right in the relationship. It doesn’t matter if the person is a friend, crush or someone they just met online.

Let them know that it’s OK to say ‘no’ when someone asks for an intimate image or video or to get sexual online, even if it’s someone they think they can trust. Respecting their bodies and personal values is important.

Help them understand that it’s important to get consent before sharing any type of image or video of someone else. Let your child know that sharing an intimate image or video of someone without their consent is a breach of trust and against the law.

Tell them they can always talk with you, no matter how worried or embarrassed they feel. Let them know that you will help them work things out if they feel pressured to share an intimate image or video of themselves or if they have shared an intimate image or video of someone else.

Let them know about eSafety’s advice for Young People. You could even start the chat by showing your child these pages:

How image-based abuse happens, including ‘revenge porn’, ‘sextortion’ and sexual grooming

Sharing an intimate image or video of a person without their consent is image-based abuse. It’s never OK. If it happens to your child, it’s important they understand that it’s not their fault, even if they shared a nude with the other person in the first place or agreed to get sexual with them in a live chat.

Image-based abuse is sometimes known as ‘revenge porn’ because some people do it to hurt a person who’s ended a relationship with them, or threaten to do it unless they agree to talk. But there are other reasons too – for example, to upset or bully the person, or get them into trouble.

The image or video is often a selfie, or a screenshot or recording of a live video chat. But it can also be a meme, a fake or deepfake edited to look like the person, or even an image of someone else that’s been tagged with their name.

Image-based abuse can also happen when:

a scammer hooks or ‘catfishes’ a person into a fake friendship or relationship, then tricks them into sending nudes or getting sexual online and threatens to share the images or videos to blackmail them for money (see sexual extortion, also known as ‘sextortion’)
a sexual predator (paedophile) ‘grooms’ a child or young person to trick them into sending nudes or getting sexual online, then threatens to share the images or videos unless the child or young person sends more nudes or gets sexual on camera again.

How image-based abuse can affect your child

They may feel humiliation, guilt, shame, anger, violation and self-blame – leading to immediate and ongoing emotional distress, withdrawal from school and family life, and difficulty with establishing and maintaining trusting relationships. In severe cases, this can result in self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
They may be bullied, teased and harassed by others if the image or video is shared around their school community or friendship groups.
Their intimate image or video may remain online or continue to be shared more widely, adding to their trauma every time it’s seen again.
Damage to their reputation may impact their relationships, performance at school or work, ability to socialise and confidence about the future.

How to support your child through image-based abuse

If your child experiences image-based abuse or does it to someone else, it’s important to make sure they’re safe and not about to harm themselves. If they’re at risk of immediate harm, call Triple Zero (000) for help.

Here are some suggestions for further support:

Try talking to your doctor if you have concerns about the health and wellbeing of your child. You could ask them for a referral to a specialist adolescent psychologist.
Children and young people can access counselling services any day or time at Kids Helpline (for young people up to age 25) and headspace (for 12- to 25-year-olds). Free and confidential legal advice is available from Youth Law Australia (for young people under 25) and local community legal centres can also assist with advice and referrals.
It can be difficult to support your child through this experience – you may need help too. You can contact Parentline for information and counselling. You can also find resources about dealing with sexual abuse on the Raising Children Network.

If it Happens to your Child

Stay calm and listen. Finding out that your child’s nude has been shared, or someone is threatening to share it, can be very upsetting – but try to stay calm. If you’re upset or angry, they may not listen to your advice (and it might stop them coming to you about other concerns in the future). Thank them for being brave enough to let you know.

Keep your focus on your child’s wellbeing. It’s important they’re supported by a trusted adult so they can get the help they need.

Help them take action. It’s important to collect evidence and report image-based abuse, so the intimate image or video can be removed or the threats to share it can be stopped. You can do this on behalf of your child if they’re under 16, or help them fill out the online form if they’re older. Follow the steps for collecting evidence, reporting the abuse, preventing further contact and getting more help.

Check how they’re doing. Look out for signs your child may be depressed or anxious. These can include unusual changes in their:

mood
sleep patterns
appetite
energy levels
willingness to socialise
attendance at school or work.

It may also be a good idea to ask their school for support. This could include:

looking out for any concerning behaviour directed towards your child, such as shaming or bullying
letting you know if the teachers or support staff notice signs of depression or anxiety, such as missing classes or falling asleep because they’re tired.

If you think your child is struggling to cope, help them speak with a doctor, psychologist or counselling or support service.

Find more suggestions about how to help someone deal with image-based abuse.

If your Child does it to Someone Else

Talk about the impact of sharing an image or video without consent. Try to understand what has happened and why, and explore the impact it might be having on the person whose image or video has been shared. Explain to your child that it’s never OK to share an intimate image or video of someone else, because it can harm their mental health and reputation – now and in the future.

Try to stop the image or video being shared. Talk to your child about steps they can take to prevent the spread of the image or video. Encourage them to:

delete all intimate images or videos of the person from their phone, hard drive and any other device, as well as from any backups or cloud storage
delete the image or video from the site, app, chat or message thread immediately, as well as any comments they or others have made about it
ask the people they have shared the intimate image or video with to delete it online and from their devices immediately, along with any comments they made about it, and to get anyone else they have on-shared it with to also delete the image or video and any comments
report the image or video to the site, app or service used to share or send it, and ask it to take down any copies that have spread – check The eSafety Guide for links to common platforms and services.

Contact your child’s school and ask them to help stop further distribution. (Be aware that schools have mandatory reporting requirements and depending on the circumstances, may be required to report the matter to relevant authorities or the police).

Help your child to repair harm. If the school or police are involved, be sure to follow their advice.

Encourage your child to do everything they can to repair the harm caused to the person in the image or video. If appropriate, this could include encouraging your child to meet with the affected person, listen to and accept what they have to say, and offer them a genuine apology. You and the family members of the affected person may want to offer support by being there with them when they meet or talk.

Term 3/4 Departure Notice

As we are approaching the mid-point of the year, this is a reminder that those families who are planning on leaving the School during or at the end of Terms 3 or 4 are required to give notice to the Principal via an email to registrar@redlands.nsw.edu.au by the following dates:

Term 3 Departure: Friday 23 June 2023
Term 4 Departure: Friday 21 July 2023

As per the 2023 Schedule of Fees emailed to all families in December last year, there will be fees in lieu payable for any notices of departure received after these dates.

Redlands Gala Ball – Final Early Bird Tickets Available Now

Ms Gemma Van de Peer
Head of Secondary School
gvandepeer@redlands.nsw.edu.au
9968 9811